Da Hata Report

In honor of the late great Michael Jackson I decided to throw it back in his memory. I can’t believe that it’s already been a year since the shocking news of his untimely passing, but that just goes to show you that time waits for no one.

“Smooth Criminal” used to be my joint back in the day… and still is! There was a point in time when everyone was trying to copy MJ’s leaning moves after watching this particular video. People were bussin’ their asses all over the place because they believed that they could duplicate his swag. Talk about classic… once again Michael Jackson had fans in awe of his ability to create another signature move like the Moonwalk with a tippy toe freeze.

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This was the perfect video for “Smooth Criminal” and I can’t imagine it having being done any other way. The costumes, the set, the dance moves… it was magic and ain’t no one — to this date — holding it down like this!

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Lady Gaga calls herself a performance artist, and she knows how to put on a performance. Her latest video for “Alejandro” was directed by fashion photographer Steven Klien, and it’s a piece of moving art all in itself. Unlike the music that you’re used to hearing from GaGa, this song doesn’t sound like her at all. Maybe I’m being just a little bit biased but I’m really not used to hearing a straight up white girl singing about a bunch of Spanish guys. I’m just sayin…

There’s no denying that Lady GaGa is definitely picking up where Madonna left off. This girl seriously likes to push the envelop, and this video is really going to piss off a lot of overly religious folks. Statement or no statement… the wrath of “Like A Prayer” is about to start all over again. Although GaGa may not be singing and dancing in front of a burning cross she’s certainly dressed up as uptight nun who turns slutty by sucking on rosary beads and being rubbed and touched by guys. She even goes over the edge by flashing her tits in their faces.

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The video for “Alejandro” is mad long and reminds me of one of those major releases that the Jackson’s would put out back in the day. BUT once again… Lady GaGa has stepped up her game and she’s not afraid to step outside of the box. While her music may speak for itself, so does everything else in the world of GaGa.

It’s certainly no secret that sex sells, and although GaGa doesn’t want to be seen as a sex symbol she’s barely wearing any clothes. Not to mention that her sexual role reversal bedroom session was pretty interesting. Although, I’m still trying to figure out why the guys dressed up in heels or pleather tighty blackees. This was a little on the strange side, but I’m sure that her gay male fans couldn’t be happier.

This is actually the first time in long time that we’ve seen an almost normal GaGa when it comes to hair, make-up, and costumes. GaGa is as pale as ghost and even though she’s got a body that’s looking like milk, I didn’t get the “My Chick Bad” vibe from her at all. While she may be the remixed version of the “material girl”… even I had to scratch my head when it came to the gun padded bra. Um, what’s up with that?

GaGa’s also selling merchandise and if you want a little Alejandro for yourself then be sure to check out her website. She’s selling an exclusive T-Shirt, Rose Ring, Prayer Candle, and a copy of “Alejandro – The Remixes”.

Yeah, you read that right… I said Prayer Candle.

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Let me find out that Nick Cannon tapped that ass to the point of knocking up his wife, Mariah Carey!! That’s right MiMi is pregnant, and her divalicious mood swings are going to be off the hook.

While her reps have not confirmed this inquiry, they haven’t exactly denied it either. Sometimes no answer is an answer, and I’m thinking that this one is pretty damn true. For example… you know somethings up when the fallen “Glitter” starlet who struggled to regain our respect and did in “Precious” suddenly drops out of her latest film project with Tyler Perry called “For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf”.

Um… what’s up with that? Dropping out of a Tyler Perry movie that co-stars Whoopi Goldberg, Janet Jackson, Phylicia Rashad and Loretta Devine is just stupid stupid stupid. Well that is unless you have a really good reason – like pregnancy. Working with Tyler is like industry gold. No one turns down Tyler…LOL. That’s like saying no thank you to Oprah.

If Mariah’s really “pregnant” then she finally has an excuse to let herself go and eat whatever the hell she wants without all the extra criticism. BUT just be warned that dear old MiMi has the ability to become a fat girl in a New York minute. Mariah aka Mary Poppins or Mary P better enjoy her snacking freedoms while she can because as soon as she gives birth the jig is up and back to the gym she’ll go.

The pair can try to hide from the media but they’ll never be able to pull a Jennifer Hudson. People are watching and waiting for Cannon and Carey to reproduce. Why? That’s like asking how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, and we still don’t know the answer to that one. But believe it or not I’m actually happy for Mariah… it’s no secret that her 41-year-old maternal clocks been ticking for quite some time now. The question about her taking fertility drugs has crossed my mind though. I mean she is kind of on the old side when it comes to being with child, but here’s when being a Cougar has its benefits ladies. Cannon’s swimmers are still in good shape and apparently able to solidify the bond between husband and wife. I wonder if they’ll have twins…hmm.

Anywayz…Congrats to the happy couple, “unofficially”.

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What would you do for a starring role in a movie? That’s the question that everyone should be asking. Well apparently
50 Cent aka Curtis Jackson III had no problem with answering that question. He dropped from 214 pounds to an astonishing 160 for his upcoming role in “Things Fall Apart”. In the movie 50 Cent plays a football player that’s diagnosed with cancer.

Now I know that 50’s playing a cancer patient but his physical appearance is very disturbing. The rapper turned part-time actor was on a liquid diet and three-hour-a-day treadmill walks for nine weeks. Talk about crash dieting…this is crazy. 50 Cent states, “I was starving”. Um ya think? If this is what starving looks like… I’ll be damned! He only took off close to 60 pounds but he looks like shit. I can only hope that this was a role of a lifetime and that Curtis’ performance wins him an award, and I’m not talking independent film festivals. I’m talking NAACP, Oscars, etc. Otherwise we’ll have to chalk this up to a sad learning experience.

A healthy 50 looks like this…

The good news is that he’s actually back on tour now and working hard on packing on the pounds. So I’m sure he’ll be back to his super buff self in no time. 50’s telling his fans, “I’ve been eating. I’ll be back in shape in no time!”. I sure do hope so because a healthy 50 is so much more appealing than a sick 50.

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It’s been a real long time since a real female MC stepped up to the mic of Hip Hop.

Does anybody know when it became OK for mediocre artists to skate by on good looks, auto-tunes, and ghost writers? WAKE UP FOOLS… I release you from the evil spell of commercial radio.

Ladi G is the proud product of Brooklyn, New York and her lyrical flow can be compared to that of a young female version of Hova or even Biggie (but much much cuter of course). Her mixtape entitled “Starring Ladi G & The Co-Stars” is already being hailed as an “instant classic”, and is breaking new ground.

I think she’s “The Sound of the Future” which is an awfully tall order to fill, but this Hata ain’t afraid to tell you like it is. Ladi G’s flow is hard on tracks like “I’m Ill”, “ImmA Bee”, and “Backwoods, Dutch or Phillies”. She then manages to switch up her style up with songs like “Say Something”, “Hold Yuh”, “Forever Young”, and “I’m Ready (Set It Off 2)”. These days mixtapes are the new albums, but I was even feeling the bonus track “Bone Yard” which was an original beat.

All you commercial Barbie Doll Rappers better watch out …yeah Minaj I’m talking to you. The definition of HOT has just been reclassified by more than what shade of MAC lip gloss you smacking or how tight your freakum dress is.

Someone finally rolled the Jumangi dice and made the game move. Next up, Ladi G and that’s a good look right there. I’ve been waiting for a real female MC to step up to the mic for really long time. If her mixtape is any indication of what we should expect lyrically off her album, then I’m all for it.

Yooooo dudes will be hatin’ because it’s a girl spiting on these beats and holding her own with them like WHAT! Makes me want to grab my crotch and throw a Michael Jackson kick in the air. But on the real, guys will respect her because she’s “the only chick on a track talking real shit” (Ladi G).

It’s not often that we live in the moment of history… but pay attention. Unlike the artists of an older generation, Ladi G is not afraid to taste the rainbow…LOL. Some of her songs lead you to believe that she’s playing for a different team, but if she’s dropping it like this, then I really don’t care. Music doesn’t have any boundaries… well, not when it’s good anyway. “Ladi G Is Hip Hop”… WOW.

I know, I know… I sound “Team Ladi G”, but ya’ll already know that I only hate on wackness. Be your own judge and check it out for yourself.

FREE LISTENS and FREE DOWNLOADS on DEMAND at: www.LadiGIsHipHop.com

It must really suck to be a female puppet — I mean rapper right now. Ya dig Barbie?… Let’s not rewind like I’m Funk Flex-in. It’s time to get back to business.

“Game recognizes game and you’re looking kinda unfamiliar right now…”
~Riley Freeman, The Boondocks

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This is some ol’ next shit. It’s a topic that most guys never want to talk about. For all ya’ll fat back creepers your best-kept secret is about to be leaked. You’ve stepped over to the other side and discovered that it’s better than you had ever imagined. That’s right, I’m talking about Fat Bitches….

Well I found this video that’s going around and dude’s breaking it down about how he loves Fat Bitches. So don’t judge him…LOL. Sometimes guys do like to visiting the Soul Food Convention.

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Don’t front, that shit was mad funny!! How’s the saying go? “Fat girls need love too”. Well I think that homeboy just made a believer out of some, and launched a whole new ad campaign called, “I Love Fat Bitches”. Like fat is the new plaid. If leggings can make a come back then anything is possible as you can tell from his enthusiasm.

Fat women everywhere might be a little bit angry swearing that they don’t cook after sex, but whole lot more are cracking up because they know that shit is true. I knew a fat bitch once that handled a woman sausage like a world heavyweight champ. So there’s no need to be shy ladies. Handle your B.I.

Shout out to all my Layne Bryant, Ashley Stewart, The Avenue, Walmart, Targ-aye bitches!!

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Ahhh, remember when people were crazy about Sisqo and the “Thong Song”? You couldn’t go anywhere without hearing this damn song! It was like the world had adopted Sisqo as its poster child and the “Thong Song” became everyone’s theme music. To this day people still get all worked up when they hear it. The melody quickly takes you to a beach somewhere in South Beach Miami, and booty’s start shaking everywhere. Sisqo released the “Thong Song” as the first single off his debut album “Unleash the Dragon” which was shortly after he left Dru Hill to start his solo career.

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I know it doesn’t seem like this song should be considered as a throwback but truth be told it’s over 10 years old… so yeah, it qualifies.

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Sad to say, we were all happy when his marriage to Whitney Houston ended in 2007. Now, Bobby Brown is at it again. Yesterday, at FunkFest in Jacksonville Florida, Bobby Brown got down on one knee on stage and proposed to his manager girlfriend of 3 years, Alicia Etheridge. Etheridge came out on stage with their 11 month old baby and happily accepted his proposal…

Photo by Leon Bennett/WireImage

Now this is just wrong on so many levels. I mean, I am hoping that he is a changed man. Not to say that I was an eyewitness to any of his fuckery but according to reports, Bobby Brown doesn’t strike me as husband material. Given the way he and Whitney carried on and his string of children and Baby Mama’s, he is the kind of man you would want to run from rather than run to. And if this chick has been his girlfriend of 3 years but his marriage ended in 2007… Well you do the math. Either relationships overlapped or he was up and at chicks before the ink on his divorce papers dried. Given the fact that she is his manager, they were probably getting’ at each other before he even got divorced. But she’s his manager. She won’t be the wife sitting at home. She was the traveling pussy while his wife was sitting at home. So now he married it. Good for them.

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In the clip, Ralph Tresvant asks him if this one is going to be forever. Brown makes a smart comment along the lines of “I am going to work at this one…” Really Bobby Brown? He was married to Whitney for how many years? And you say some shit like that? Whitney’s life, career and bank account are basically down the tubes because of the actions of Mr. Brown. The least he could have done was not say anything at all. All I keep thinking about is that reality show they had together “Being Bobby Brown” and how twisted their relationship was.

I just hope that Bobby Brown can get the husband thing right this time. I mean, he’s sober now and seems to be trying to move on with his life in a positive manner. I wish them all the best. And all of his baby mama’s, kids, ex-wife, Bobbi Christina and his new wife and baby can live happily ever-after.

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I really thought that Kat Stacks was going to dissolve like a pimple after it has made its presence but this heffa is still around. Not only is she still ratting dudes out but now she is boasting that she is preggers?? Whaaaaaaat?

Who is the fool that knocked this bitch up?? I hope to goodness it is not the rappers she is claiming because if it is, those fools just placed a golden lottery ticket in her uterus…. She’s making jokes about it being Bow Wow or JayRock.. Lord knows she has no idea who the father is because her vagina is a Penis Pit-Stop.

What I can’t understand is why men keep entertaining her? Her very presence is like a red-flag warning. All kinds of sirens should go off in a man’s head when Kat Stack approaches. Instead, they still get her drunk and sleep with her and then fall asleep. While they sleep, she tapes them and gives phone numbers, addresses, and run downs of dick sizes, all while wearing their jewelry. Is this the new way to promote themselves and their music? That’s my only guess because most of the people involved are D-List rappers who probably got more attention off of her hoe bag antics than dropping a mixtape or even an album. Listen fellas, this is a life or death situation. If you are not lyrically flowing and your talent is weak, using Kat Stacks to boost yourselves is a certified FAIL!!! At the end of the day, even after you screw her, you are still going to SUCK!!! Continuing to entertain this woman is not good for your craft or your health. Don’t you dudes see that? Is your self-esteem really that low that attention from a ran-through Groupie? I don’t understand what it is about men and seeking attention from a buncha broke down bitches but let me just say that it doesn’t say much about you. But I guess for some of you this is all you have left since you can’t seem to launch your careers any other way. You fellas have this chick thinking she’s really somethin’ special though. And it needs to stop. Impregnating her only created a bigger monster than she already was. In the end that child is going to suffer because his/her mother is a whore and I am sure, whoever the daddy is *cues Maury*, will not marry and make a family with this woman.

Situations with groupies and women and prostitutes is becoming all too frequent and annoying. While it is entertaining to see how men make fools of themselves, it is sad at the same time. I am going to need the men out here to do better and act right. Chasing slores and whores is not a good look.

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So Christina Aguilera is back on the scene and she’s coming harder than ever. Not only did ol’ girl officially kick in the door, but she also reinvented herself and “dropped it like it was hot” all over again. If you thought that her video for “Dirrty” was a little bit racy… you seriously need to rethink that whole idea right now!!

Her highly anticipated comeback album “Bionic” drops on June 8, 2010 and she’s pushing “Not Myself Tonight” as the first single off the LP. Christina’s spitting or shall I say singing lyrics like:

Cause I’m doing things that I normally won’t do
the old me’s gone I feel brand new
and if you don’t like it fuck you

Who knew this former Mickey Mouse Club girl had it in her? Not that any of this should really shock you. I mean Christina’s been trying to break free of those “Genie In A Bottle” days for years now. Although she may be someone’s wife and mom now… that’s not slowing this songstress down.

You’re probably looking at that photo and saying DAYUM!!! Wishing that she were down on all fours for you, or wondering how you can get a latex suit just like it…good luck with that. Although I’m sure that this video is going to spark lots of conversations in and outside of the bedroom.

I’m just glad that she’s officially put that awkward stage in her life behind her, because for a minute there all I wanted to do was get at her with some Mr. Clean and scrub all that shit out of her hair and rip out that fucking nose ring!!! But I digress… she’s finally moved on and from the looks of things I think she’s going to give Lady GaGa a run for her money.

The official music video for Aguilera’s single “Not Myself Tonight”, was written by Ester Dean and Polow da Don, who also produced the record. I’m hoping that that equates to a few party songs and a couple of strong ballads because this girl can sang…not sing…but sang! She may only be about 100 pounds soaking wet but she can certainly belt out a note like a fat diva singing for the church choir.

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This video is HOT, and it reminds me of a much stronger and sexier version of “Express Yourself” with a dash of “Justify My Love” sprinkled with lots of GaGa. Finally the industry is ready to take risks again and allow artists to do what they should have been doing all along… entertain the audience!

While Aguilera still reigns supreme as one of America’s top Pop singers, she’s still gotta watch her back. I know that you always hear that there’s room for everyone… but that’s a load of poo. It’s now up to the public to see if she’s got what it takes to hang in there.

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